My Ever-Changing Strategies to Spend Time More Intentionally
Anyone who talks to me will know that one of my favorite topics of discussion is the cultivation of healthy habits. When it comes to my free time, I want to spend it intentionally on high-quality leisure activities. In order to encourage this and discourage the mindless device use that often leaves me feeling drained, I've added a new strategy to my tool belt. Here's my current list of rules that help me get deeper with my discretionary time!
Internet shuts off at 7PM: This helps me maintain a bedtime routine that encourages me to turn to my books for entertainment.
50/50 Fun Time: Equal usage of time on "dessert" activities and "dinner" activities. Using the Pain/Pleasure Seesaw 1 as a framework, I divided activities into two types, F1 (Fun 1st) and F2 (Fun 2nd). F1 activities (reddit, scrolling) satisfy cravings for instant gratification and comfort at the cost of emptiness or dissatisfaction following closely after. F2 activities (exercise, drawing) require an initial investment of discomfort but are followed by feelings of fulfillment or satisfaction. After sorting these activities, I decided to spend an equal amount of time on F1 and F2 activities each day, only spending time on F1 activities that I have already spent on F2 activities. That means before I can browse as much Reddit as I want provided I've already spent an that amount of time reading a book or drawing.
More details on my rules below:
On weekends, the internet shut off is at 11PM instead of 7PM to allow for social internet use such as movies or games with online friends. Additionally, my phone is exempt from all internet rules so that I can still use it for communication like video calls and internet messaging. My phone doesn't have easy access to a browser or any endless feeds, all the traditionally "distracting" smartphone functionalities are offloaded to other devices that are subject to the internet limits. My gripe with this system is that sometimes I still want to use my computer for social purposes after 11PM on weekends but I don't want internet access otherwise. For now, I leave the rules on and turn them off (a somewhat inconvenient process) when a gaming session goes long.
As for the F1/F2 activities, I wanted to avoid using terms like "good" or "bad" habits, because I wanted to base this system on evidence and experience rather than a value judgement. This also helps me focus more on the tangible results of activities ("I feel unsatisfied") rather than heap guilt and shame on myself for engaging with "bad" habits ("I'm weak-willed"). One concern I have with this system is that it relies heavily on my own willpower. There's nothing environmental stopping me from scrolling more than I read. My hope is that by providing a path to the scrolling that instead of outright banning it (which is easy to give up), I'll get enough dessert (F1) after dinner (F2) to not just raid the snack cabinet. Moderation, not prohibition! Another concern is the reliance on tracking my time through my phone. I have it set up to be as simple as possible with just two categories and a quick shortcut, but I would prefer to keep my phone only for communication and the added complexity to the process makes me worry about its long-term viability, especially when my goal is to simplify my life.
The internet limit was already effective, but I hope this F1/F2 balance will help encourage me even further. I want to be careful to keep in mind my goal of a simpler life and not go too far with overoptimizing things. At the end of the day, the systems are in place not for their own sake, but for the sake of a more balanced life. So I will keep this ultimate goal in mind instead of fussing over the precise execution of my rules.
It's funny to me how these rules reflect something a parent might impose upon their child to encourage more mindful use of free time. In fact, the 50/50 rule was lifted from my own childhood, where I found it actually made me appreciate the F1 activities more! Coming back to these rules gives me a tangible aim that, if followed, should see my free time used with more intention. It might feel silly to have to parent myself, but that's kind of what adult life is, right? When we were young, our parents balanced our long-term goals with our short-term impulses, and when we grow up we must do the same for ourselves.
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